Women in Games

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Just take a moment… and take in that image. Really process it. Take in everything about it.

I have a problem with this, but it’s not because there is a site for male gamers only. I don’t care about that. If there are some little boys out there who are so terrified of women that they have to section themselves out and form a He-Man Woman Haters Club, good for them. I’d rather such little boys stay away from me anyway, and if they’re willing to quarantine themselves, then it makes my life all the better.

The problem is that they use a female avatar to promote their He-Man Woman Haters Club. Did you notice that detail? You might not have, and I wouldn’t blame you. With all the games on Google Play Store and the Apple Store that use female avatars to promote themselves, it’s kind of become something that we don’t even notice any longer. We just take it as a given that pretty much every game is going to use a female avatar. And we are jaded by their perfect, enormous breasts, Barbie-like figures, perfect faces, gorgeous eyes, lustrous hair, and impeccable faces; we don’t even notice it any longer. That’s not really a problem. It’s an irritant, sure, but sex sells, especially to little boys who will be encouraged to buy a game if it has a nice pair of boobs in its primary image. That’s just reality, and it’s not going to change any time soon.

However, to use such an image in the promotion of your Men Only site… crosses a line. You might as well just have the ad say “Women are nice to look at, aren’t they? Yeah, but they should shut up and sit down! Men only!”

The audacity to publicly have a Men Only gaming site, and to use a clearly objectified female avatar to sell that site–it’s fucking disgusting, and I can’t even credit the people for their audacity, because it doesn’t take audacity to jump on a bandwagon and kick a group that is already institutionally disenfranchised. It just takes tiny balls and smaller dicks.

Because just as it’s a reality that sex sells to little boys, so is it a reality that anyone willing to make a Men Only gaming site, explicitly forbidding women, while using a female avatar to promote said site, will have a ludicrously tiny penis. I was angry at them, but having realized this, I now simply pity them. I understand, guys. Really, I do. When your dick is so small that you can’t bear the thought of playing a game against a female–and probably losing that game–then the only recourse you have left is to form a He-Man Woman Haters Club and convince yourself that women aren’t the powerful, strong creatures that we are.

Their cynicism is naked, but not nearly as naked as their fear.

“Women are great to look at, aren’t they? But that’s all they’re good for! They’re out of their minds if they think they can play video games with us! OMG WOMEN ARE GOING TO RUIN OUR VIDEO GAMES THEY’RE GOING TO TAKE OUR TOYS AWAY!!!!!111ONE!!”

Fucking cowards–bald-faced cowards.

If you game on that site, I offer you a challenge. Its administrators and owners are free to accept this challenge, as well. Any game. Your pick. Any time. Call of Duty, Goldeneye, Defense of the Ancients, doesn’t matter. I’ll beat you. And you know it. That’s why you ran and hid at your little website for people with little dicks.